What’s your “MULTO”

Few days ago, a friend asked me what is my “MULTO”. I did not answer because I had nothing in mind. Maybe I was thinking about other things.

Then this afternoon, nagbasa ako ng sent messages sa personal e-mail ko. I saw old e-mails I sent nung fresh grad pa lang ako, my resumè, my applications to different hotels and restaurants sa iba’t ibang bansa. I also saw my application in Canada Immigration. Grabe pala ‘yung eagerness ko na magwork abroad noon. I was once a young woman pala na may pangarap din tulad ng mga bata ngayon. Nakalimutan ko na ‘coz I was so busy with my children now, sila ‘yung priority ko kaya hindi ko na ulit naisip mag-apply abroad. Until now, all I think is ‘yung obligations ko sa kids — their daily medicine/vitamins intake, school activities/programs, their schedule sa checkups sa iba’t ibang doktor.

So I realized na my “multo” pala is the missed opportunities in my career when I was younger. I attended the initial interview (via Skype) last November 2015, what if I pursued the second interview in Makati? Maybe I would be hired in a restaurant or hotel (front desk officer) in Dubai? I remember when I was in college, pangarap ko magwork sa Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world located in Dubai, o kaya sa Palm Jumeirah, the iconic man-made island. Then later on they e-mailed me again because they have 3 slots for a position and they were also partnering with a bank daw to lend/provide for our job placement fee to proceed with the job. They were asking if I’m still interested. Bakit ba hindi ko nabasa ‘yun when me and my sister were job hunting in Manila because we want to work abroad?

So my realization is, mothers are willing to sacrifice literally everything for their children — dreams, career, comfort. We forget that sometimes we also need to be taken care of. We deserve our own love and affection. Sometimes we care more about the needs of others than for ours. We’re forgetting that we only have one life to live. Smile, get prettier, have fun and enjoy life.

Sometimes I get so caught up in motherhood I forget I’m also a girl in her early 30’s living life for the first time too — still learning, still healing, still becoming. And it’s okay to hold space for both. 💖☺️